


Five Things the TARDIS Did That the Doctor Never, Ever Talks About. Ever.

by Lyl



Category: Doctor Who, Stargate Atlantis
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-07-19
Updated: 2010-07-19
Packaged: 2017-10-10 16:30:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,253
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/101783
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lyl/pseuds/Lyl
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The Doctor and his TARDIS have a very *unique* relationship.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Five Things the TARDIS Did That the Doctor Never, Ever Talks About. Ever.

1) "What do you mean, 'Aberdeen'? "  
(Fourth Doctor)

Setting the coordinates for Gallifrey, the Doctor pointedly ignored the twinge in his left heart when he thought about Sarah Jane. He also pointedly ignored the slow response from theTARDIS as they dematerialized off of Earth. He knew she wasn't any happier about losing Sarah Jane than Sarah Jane had been about being left.

But he had been recalled back to Gallifrey, and they were very strict about their 'no humans' policy. Not that it had ever really stopped him before, but it was as good an excuse as any for them to part ways. He'd enjoyed having her along for a number of reasons, but he'd found himself growing too attached to her, and vice versa. If he'd let her, she would have stayed with him for far longer than any of his other companions.

A flash from the console drew his attention back to the TARDIS, and it didn't take a Time Lord to realize she was upset out the loss of Sarah Jane.

"She deserved a full, human life," he said aloud. "I can't give that to her; not gallivanting around the whole of time and space."

What he got in response was the mental equivalent of her blowing a raspberry.

"Now, really. Is that any way for such a magnificent time ship to act?"

Silence was his response, but that didn't matter much since they'd landed.

It took him less than a step outside the TARDIS to realize his ship was going to be difficult. Instead of transporting them to Gallifrey, the TARDIS had landed him on Ragnko III, the foulest planet in the galaxy. Well, foulest *smelling* planet. The sulphur and methane billowing from fissures in the ground were the least offensive smells, especially for his Time Lord senses. The only life that had evolved on this planet survived on the noxious gases, only to produce more rancid smells as part of their biology. Smells that had a way of sticking around for days. There really weren't any worse places theTARDIS could have dumped him.

And the TARDIS had locked him out. He was stuck in this vile smelling place until she deemed it time to let him in, no matter what arguments and threats he might throw at her. When she finally let him in some time later, he sent them into the vortex to float while he tried to clean off the worst of the smells.

He found he hadn't succeeded quite so well, as the first dozen Time Lords he met on Gallifrey wrinkled their noses in distaste.

The Doctor ignored the lot of them and went about his business, smiling as if he had not a care in the universe.

The fact that no one commented was really more a statement of how he was viewed in general, because no one suggested it was any odd behaviour on his part.

And none of them suspected the TARDIS.

2) "Revenge is mine, thus sayeth the hologram."  
(Fifth Doctor)

"Oh, I dare say, this is an excellent specimen."

The Doctor froze under the console in the midst of juryrigging the temporal stabilizer. He knew that voice. He knew that voice but it was all wrong. The warmth and laughter that were evident in the original was missing from this hologram. And he knew it was a hologram because he'd dealt with this before.

His beloved time ship had decided to torment him some more.

Crawling out from the innards of the ship, the Doctor stood and faced the ghostly image of Sarah Jane. He wasn't prepared for the twinge in his chest, and resolved to get that looked at, at the soonest possible occasion.

"Having fun with the holographic projectors again?" he asked lightly, past experience had taught him to tread lightly when the TARDIS decided to interact more directly.

"Can we go back for this one? She was very clever," said the TARDIS-as-Sarah-Jane. The hologram was looking over her spectral features, inspecting her arms and legs like they were the greatest inventions ever. Though he supposed for atransdimensional entity whose form existed in several pocket dimensions at once and was more immense than even he could imagine, the limitations of limbs was a truly novel and fascinating experience.

"We're not going back," he said firmly, trying to look everywhere but at her/she/it.

"Why not? Just because you were getting too attached doesn't mean _I_ wanted her to go." She even had her hands on her hips and that disapproving look down pat. TheTARDIS only ever imprinted on a select few, and fewer still were taken on as temporary masks to communicate through. The Doctor hadn't thought that Sarah Jane had been one of the few, though he really should have anticipated this. Still, it was better than seeing Susan around every corner, like in his second and third regenerations.

"Must we have this conversation every time a travelling companion leaves?" he asked. The TARDIS-as-Sarah-Jane huffed and crossed her arms, pointedly looking away. He wondered if she was starting to merge characteristics from other companions, because that looked an awful lot likeTegan.

"I liked this one," was the pointed reply, causing the Doctor to purse his lips in frustration. Other Time Lords had obedient, respectfulTARDISes who didn't torment them through each regeneration.

"I'm not going to-"

"Doctor?" called out Nyssa from behind him an instant after the hologram blinked out.

"Well, happy day, Nyssa," he greeted overly enthusiastic, as if he hadn't just been quarreling with his ship in holographic format.

"Were you just talking to someone?" she asked, a frown on her face. The frown deepened at the exaggerated, confused face he adopted. "I could have sworn I heard a female voice."

"Are you sure it wasn't your own voice? These halls do echo quite badly," he suggested, returning his attention to fixing the console.

"I wasn't even speaking," she said accusingly.

Before he could even attempt at answering, Tegan stormed in, "Are we ready to go yet?"

"Yes, right! Of course," said the Doctor, glad of the interruption. He reached down under the console with one arm, "Just a...there we go."

Jumping up, he raced around the console, setting the coordinates. "Next stop, Heathrow!" he announced with a big smile, pointedly avoiding looking at Nyssa directly.

He really wasn't surprised when they landed on Tarragon Seti instead. The TARDIS always had the last word.

  
3) Time, blood, death; it all burns the same.  
(Ninth Doctor)

Gallifrey was burning, and so were his people. The screams blurred together until it was one long, drawn out wail reverberating through his head until he thought he would go mad. Maybe he was already. It was so hard to tell when he couldn't find a stray thought that didn't involve pain and death and burning.

Then it all stopped. The silence in his mind a relief and a horror, both. He knew that it wasn't the end, that they weren't all gone, but their voices and thoughts were no longer searing his neurons and he knew who was responsible for that.

The last cries of a great civilization - the last time his head would be full of home - and the TARDIS had deliberately blocked them out to save his sanity.

His last connection to Gallifrey, and now it was gone.

4) The Rose Room  
(Tenth Doctor)

Martha found the door on her fourth night in the TARDIS. Still feeling the adrenaline surging through her veins after their near escape on Taldoria V, she couldn't sleep and decided to explore this ship that was her home for now. The Doctor had warned her about wandering off, but really, there were only so many times she could make the circuit from the control room to the kitchen to the library and back without going mad.

She turned a corner, and upon spotting the Doctor, quickly retraced her steps. It was stupid, but she didn't want him to see her wandering around theTARDIS especially after the big deal he'd made about getting lost - which she kind of was.

Peering around the corner, Martha frowned in confusion. The Doctor had just come out of a room she hadn't seen before and was talking - he was always talking - but this time was different. This time he was arguing with a door as he closed it, giving her the smallest glimpse of the room beyond. Even as it closed behind him, he continued a conversation with thin air in front of a door Martha had never seen before. On second thought, she _had_ seen it before. When the Doctor had first taken her on a quick tour around theTARDIS , they'd passed in front of a door. She'd asked about it, but he'd just brushed her off with details about the library that was just down the hall. She'd tried to find it again, but must have remembered the directions wrong because she never could find it again.

Until now.

The Doctor was still having a very lively argument with the door - or the wall, it was hard to tell - and didn't seem to be winning. Martha wondered if this was some sort of strange Time Lorddimentia, to be talking to walls like they were answering back, but decided in some cases, not knowing was better.

_"...got to stop this!...I don't care what you think....You don't have to keep forcing it....Leave it alone!"_

Watching him storm away, Martha wondered what could possibly have put him in such a foul mood. Not stopping to think of the consequences, Martha moved towards the door once she was sure the Doctor was well out of sight. Turning the handle, she was quite surprised to find it locked. And stuck. There was no give in the door, no matter how she pushed or prodded. She wondered if there was some automatic locking mechanism in place, because she was certain the Doctor hadn't done anything but close the door.

Giving up on forcing her way in, Martha studied the intricate carvings along the door for a few minutes, wondering what they represented. There were parts that were similar to the Doctor's language, all circles and lines, but there was also something woven into the design that seemed central to the theme. It looked like a flower of some sort, but nothing she could make out in the dimness of the corridor.

A sudden yawn made her realize that she was plenty tired now. Turning to try and find her way back to her room, Martha resolved to get an answer from the Doctor the next day.

The next morning in the control room, when she brought up the topic of the locked door, Martha was mildly unnerved at the being the sudden focus of his entire attention. It didn't happen all that often, and while normally it was something she aimed for every time she interacted with him, in this case she could do without. She felt shivers roll down her spine as she met his eyes, feeling herself falling into the bottomless darkness she so rarely saw. She tried to blink but nothing could tear her eyes away from his. It could have been minutes or hours later, but eventually the Doctor blinked, turned back to the console and started prattling on aboutCorrander Alega and the planet's friendly purple natives.

It wasn't until later that night she realized he hadn't answered her question.

Martha never did find that door again.

5) "There is a time and place, and this isn't it!"  
(Tenth Doctor - xover SGA)

Stepping out the TARDIS doors, it took the Doctor a few seconds to realize that this wasn't Callobria during the Fourth Zhania Empire. It was a few seconds too long, because before he could retreat back into his ship, said ship slammed the doors closed behind him.

"Hey, now. What'd you do that for?" he asked the TARDIS, pushing on the doors to no avail. When his sonic screwdriver didn't work, he realized he wasn't gaining entrance until his ship was ready. Then he realized that while he might not be inCallobria's capital city, he was definitely in a city. An abandoned city, to be exact. An abandoned city he hadn't seen in quite some time, of which he was sorely glad.

Turning back to the blue police box in horror, the Doctor cried out, "Oh, no! Come on! Now?!"

He got a blast of irritation from his ship, followed by a more forceful _'Go away!'_ from another sentient being. Then the room started to get warmer and the lights all around began to pulse, sending tingles of arousal surging through his blood. As the humidity increased, and the scattered thoughts of his TARDIS started to grow more disturbing, a door on the far side of the room opened up. The Doctor took that as an invitation to leave, scurrying out before anything else could be projected at him. He was still scarred from their last visit, and had no wishes to repeat the experience.

There were certain things a Time Lord was best not knowing about his TARDIS. Or his TARDIS's *friend*.

As the doors slammed behind him, he resigned himself to several days of aimless wandering around an ancient city on the bottom of the ocean.

That, of course, was when the soldiers arrived and the guns came out.

Excellent. Something to keep him occupied while his ship was....occupied.

"Since when are there humans in Atlantis?!"

END


End file.
